Original Story: Next Time- Part 2.
23:23
...Both boys for no known reason, suddenly begin to walk. It is
slow and without purpose as if they were merely just moving because they’ve
revealed too much to one spot. As they walk, I follow close behind, wanting a
better view of my friends.
I can now see them but they can’t see me.
From my
new angle I see both their faces. Matt is just as I imagined, he is handsome
and exciting. His eyes are big and brown and his smile is wide. He has smooth
dark brown skin and his hair is cut low. He is wearing a bright red shirt which
though a bit ragged fits him well. Michael however surprises me. He is muscular
and handsome, even more so than Matt. His eyes though small are a vivid hazel,
appearing almost silver in the moonlight. His lips are pink and full, not like
Matt’s but perfect. To me he is perfect. He fascinates me more. He is well dressed in crisp, clean khaki
slacks and a light green button down that compliments his light brown skin and
gently hugs his frame. I move a little closer. I want to hear better, to be
more involved. I am too involved.
“Now out with it!” says Matt with a smile. Michael smiles
back. It is more subtle than Matt’s but special, more rare. Perhaps even more beautiful.
“Oh shut up Matt,”
replies Michael as he playfully pushes his friend. Michael is strong, and though
he only gently pushes Matt, the taller boy immediately loses his balance. This
makes us both smile. I can see the stronger boy staring at his friend, unflinching
but secretive. Matt doesn’t see it but I do. He then begins to tell his friend the full
story.
“Okay so I know you won’t, but please don’t go around telling
this to everybody.”
“I won’t bro, you know me!”
“Yeah that the problem.”
“You little bitch; you better start this story before I kick
your ass”
“I’m sure,” replies Michael with a sly smile. “Anyway” he
continues, “ so she came over the other day and she was clearly down to fuck, I
mean as soon as she came in she was legit taking off her clothes”
“Damn, I told you she wanted some dick!”
“Like real shit, she even wore her good weave!”
At this point both boys collapse into earth shaking laughter,
causing the trees to dance in empathy. This is clearly an inside joke. I feel
excluded though I have no right to. I feign a smile, though no one can see.
Once the laughter has subsided, Michael continues.
“So she’s basically naked and I’m just there. So she walks
over and starts taking off my clothes.”
“
Whoa, you’re so lucky” replies Matt, his face alive. Michael
however looks detached. He didn’t look like he felt very ‘lucky ‘to me.
“Yeah, so
lucky” Michael replies after a short pause but his voice is soft and doubtful. He
doesn’t sound like he’s very lucky at all. Matt does not even notice.
“So when does it go bad, cause so
far this sounds fucking amazing” he says unable to hide his total excitement.
“Ha! We’ll get there man.”
“Well hurry up cause this shit is legit getting me hard.” As
Matt says this he grabs the crotch of his tattered dark blue jeans. I see
Michael slightly raise his eyebrows. He is either surprised or excited. He moves
closer to his friend. His back is straight; his eyes focused on his friend’s
pants. I see the tip of his tongue. He looks excited.
“So go on,” continues Matt, catching his friend off guard.
“Huh?” says Michael
surprised, his trance broken.
“The story” Matt replies.
“Oh!” says Michael as he shakes his head to regain his focus.
Once again Matt doesn’t notice but I do.
“So she moves in and takes off my shirt. She’s rubbing her
hands on my chest. She says she likes my muscles. Then she starts to kiss
me. She smells really feminine, like
strawberries and cake. It’s a sweet kind of smell.” As he speaks Matt’s face is enthused but
Michael’s voice is unimpressed.
“Mmm” says Matt “I love that shit!”
“It’s okay I guess. It’s too sweet. There’s no grit. No
strength.”
“You’re crazy, what do you prefer, she smell like me?”
In response Michael smiles, I think he would prefer that.
“Oh shut up man!” he says with a forced laugh. He continues “so
we’re making out and she feels soft, too delicate; her body is too small.” As
he talks he closes his eyes and moves his hands; embracing the air in circular motions as he’s trying to make sense of
his words. Trying to figure out why they all sound so wrong. Matt doesn’t
notice. He thinks they’re all compliments. To him they sound perfect.
Everything sounds right. But it’s not. Not to Michael. I want to offer him a
hand, to pull him into my fortress where I can understand. Where I can tell him
he makes perfect sense. But I can’t. Not right now. He doesn’t know that I am
here.
Michael continues “she starts to take off my pants, I push
her back, tell her maybe we should stop.”
“Are you crazy?!”
“I don’t know. Something just felt off, but she didn't care, she came back tugging at them, trying to feel up my junk, but,," he makes a slight pause, "there was nothing
to feel, I wasn’t, you know, she doesn’t make me....... excited. So I just pushed her
off”
Matt looks incredulous, he can’t believe his ears. Michael
looks ashamed, wounded, his sad silver eyes facing the ground.
“Maybe you don’t like dark skin girls?” offers Matt as an
excuse, a getaway. “Maybe you want one of your own kind.” He says this humorously
but it’s ill-timed. It’s not what Michael wants to hear.
“I don’t know. It just wasn’t. I don’t know. It was wrong.”
“WRONG!?” replies Matt, his big eyes popping out of his head.
“Yeah just wrong” replies Michael almost inaudibly. “Can we drop
it please?” Michael looks like he is in pain, his stance has collapsed. He is hunched
over like his body is aching. His soft voice now almost a whisper as though it is draining him to even speak.
His friend looks concerned though I feel he doesn’t fully understand. I am
concerned. I want to help, to offer comfort but I can’t.
I see Matt move closer to him,
opening his arms to hug his fallen comrade. The trees no longer appear
glistening in the moon light, they are hues of dark green and blues, the stones
no longer moon-kissed but shunned by the shadow of the night. It is quiet. But
a different kind of quiet. The kind of quiet when you’ve said too much, when
you’ve shown too much soul or shared too much truth that you feel naked. Exposed.
It is quiet, but it is right. In his friends embrace I see
Michael smile. Though the bigger of the two he is folded perfectly into Matt’s
long arms, comfortable in his shelter as I am in my castle of bark and vines.
Matt’s warm breath, his welcoming branches.
I see Michael sigh, a good sigh, one of relief.
Matt doesn’t notice but I do.
Matt soon breaks the hug. Michael isn’t ready for it to end
though he lets the other boy go his separate way.
“She’s a bitch anyway,” says
Matt, “So don’t even worry about her and she’s way too vain, so don’t worry
about her telling anyone.”
“I guess” replies Michael. He seems almost unconcerned. I think
he just wanted a longer hug.
“Don’t even think about that bitch anymore, Mike!” ,Michael
smiles. He likes when Matt calls him Mike. I smile because I like it too. “There
will be tons of other girls, especially for a little stud like you. You’ll get them
next time.” Matt is beaming, his confident smile illuminating the dark road.
Michael is less happy. That is not what he wanted to hear. He doesn’t want
there to be other girls. He just wants Matt. But he can’t say that, not now. So
he forces a weak smile, which though sad it is still perfect. At least to me. I see him look at the ground, and shake his
head as if to abolish what ever thought was in there. He just stares vacantly
at the old, abandoned road and soon says, “Yeah, next time.”
The road again is now silent, neither boy is talking. I see
Michael look at his silver watch. He makes a sort of surprised face. I assume
it’s later than he thought. I see him lean over on Matt to show him the time.
His lean is just close enough to subtly brush his shoulders. I smile. I knew he
wanted a longer hug. With the realization of the time and their conversation
done, they start to move again to walk back into their normal lives. As they
leave I want to emerge from the bushes, to stretch out my hand and pull Michael
into my fortress. Among the trees and vine I want to offer him comfort, to make
him feel safe. But I don’t. I can’t. Though I have become so involved, he is
not my friend. He doesn’t even know that I am here. So I have to watch him
leave, unprotected. I can’t intervene. I can't rescue him from his shame. I can’t protect him from
his own heartbreak.
Not right now. Maybe next time.
-WerepupJeremy
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