Sometimes I would just watch him drift away. 

And disappear into words he’d never tell me. 

Get lost in conversations in which I had no role.

But I always understood.

I understood that between the real world and his own, 

Between him and the oceans in his mind,

He would be searching for himself.

Looking for that elusive ‘unknown’ to make sense of his being; 

A being that refused to be personified through what has been seen

And what has been known alone. 

But needed ears that would listen to what was never said, 

and eyes clear enough to envision instead of see. 

A being made of dreams yet to be dreamt, and sins not yet born.

So when he says “huh” for the twelfth time 

because your words only danced around his ears. 

Do not get upset.

Just repeat.

He’ll hear you this time. 

Maybe even smile.  

Mostly at himself, but partially at you, 

because he’ll notice he’s being rude again. 

He’ll never say this out loud, 

because like always his words are just for him. His world, is never for you.

But that’s okay.

Because one day he’ll find himself between one world and the next, 

and he’ll reach for your arm to anchor him to a shore he can trust. 

A land in which for mere seconds he may stand without falling.

Where his body can lie still instead of float adrift at sea.

And he’ll smile just for you,

and he’ll say those hidden words with his deep voice. 

And they’ll dance around your ears, like children in the sun, 

and you’ll be glad that you repeated those thirteen times.

Cause it’ll be just right.

And then after that moment, he’ll go again; 

his words running home, 

the laughter in his melody fading in the air like a broken note. 

But it’ll be alright. Because you’ll feel it was worth the glimpse.

So as I speak, I’ll watch him drift away. 

He was never in my grip.

By: WerepupJeremy

Photography by: Melissa Cheng

We’re sitting there. 

Just my head on his shoulders, 

just my voice in his ears. 

Sharing everything. Absolutely everything,

as if for the first time my truths can breathe their own air. 

As if for once my shadows don’t seem so dark.

In that instant everything is right, 

and it’s just me and him and our truths

because when we’re this close there is no space for our usual lies,

 no room for doubt between our fingertips. 

Clasped tight; secure. 

No time for despair because all we have is now,

and now is perfect and now is fleeting. 

And now will never be again, so it can’t be wasted. 

And it’s just me and it’s just him and it’s just us. 

Happy. 

Stupidly happy as if we know no sadness 

Because in his arms he can’t hold both, 

and he chooses me over his daily demons and I choose him over giving up. 

I choose him to be happy. 

And so with just my voice in his ears, I tell him everything and smile.

Because now it doesn't seem so bad. The world doesn't seem so angry. 

And for once it’s just the way I want it. 

And he smiles, so I smile and we smile and just this once I know the joy of being heard, 

in this perfect and fleeting time I know what it’s like to be free.

And with time both perfect and fleeting I accept that it will end.

But for now I can smile, as he smiles, because for now it is mine. And I choose it. 

I choose this now.

If I could, I would choose this now forever.

By: WerepupJeremy

I just want to hold him. 

To feel his breath on my neck,

To have his hands in my own. 

I just want to be the pillow that he chooses to hug, 

To be the thought in which he chooses to linger,

just long enough to be that force, great enough to keep him at home, 

In my arms. Just for me.

Just for my eyes and my hands and my warmth 

and just... my time.

I just want to keep him here in my sight, 

away from the lights that sing to his soul,

 that make him wander and lure him into the night. 

Sirens’ calls that sink my heart in seas I dare not know.

Cause if he leaves he won’t return.

I just want to be the flavour,

with which he chooses to drench his lips.

Instead of the bottles that ignite his rage, 

Those full cups that blur his eyes

and make him forget. 

That I’m here and I’m whole and I’m his. 

I just want to be enough. 

The old love that outranks the young night,

A flame that glows greater than any new promise. 

There should be no fight.

I just want to hold him.

But now is not my turn.

By: WerepupJeremy